- Both judged and judging
It seems that the part of yourself who judges others does so because they themselves have been judged, and gather resentment towards those who would do such a thing. Where this all starts is the next mystery to be solved.
In terms of interacting with a judgmental person or part of yourself, it seems that they only let down their barriers when you are willing to admit your mistakes and really be humble in front of them. Rather than get pissed at the judgments they throw at you. If you do, a larger and larger fight will brew, and explode, instead. Heck, maybe SOME of the things they say ARE true. To avoid becoming judgmental you must develop, I feel like, the ability to TAKE IT. To take the judgment or criticism, however harsh or mean-spirited. Even if it is designed with the specific intent to crush your spirit.
The funny thing about criticism is that it can be directed towards anything. At one moment, you can say something is good and in the next second argue why it is bad. Against the sword of criticism, anything can be good or bad, right or wrong, and it is often used to disprove someone who claims that something really is good or bad. At the same time as it laughs in the face of high-minded idealism, it cuts down the underpinnings of corruption. Perhaps all this is not for the sake of finding some one, easily defined truth, but to broaden people’s perspectives, to show that one greater truth is that there are multiple sides to any issue, unforeseen effects, uncertainties where you thought there was certainty.
However, criticism can be bypassed when an issue comes up that you feel is important enough to act on – when you don’t need to cast tons of doubt on it. When action is needed, rather than thought, and you’re willing to take the consequences on your own shoulders, criticism can do nothing besides inform your actions as they take place. For some things, it cannot stop you.
Furthermore, critics can fall into the trap of being insensitive and cruel. If they deliver their truth with no thought of how it will be received, it can cause a whole lot of distress if that person is not ready to receive critiques. At this point, the person being criticized can shut out all further input, despite the potential benefits.
There is a part of you who earnestly wants to do the right, honorable thing, and is often thrown into doubt about every little thing where he might be doing the wrong thing. Other parts of you can try to cheer him up, tell him he needs to be confident, but he won’t ever trust the advice of others enough to actually give up his self-doubt. What he needs is experience, and one of the best places for him to get it is around those parts of you who ACT, and who view fear and doubt as a weakness that hinders a person from getting things done. Why them? Because your self-doubter can examine where these other parts of you are being honorable or dishonorable, while at the same time gaining some experience in acting despite his doubts (aka: courage).
This part of myself is currently the understudy of a black-haired, ill-tempered woman commander, with an eye patch, who doesn’t take any crap or fluffy idealism, and whose business is action in the face of adversity. Part of this involves accepting all adversity that exists, and dealing with it. Not sure where this is going to go from here, but just thought I’d share.