About Oliver Kaufman

Oliver Kaufman just is who he is. Like anybody, he's got a lot of stuff going on inside of him, and, having found a way to share it, created this website to share what he has found that brings value to his own life. He also likes to talk in third person and sound genial and relatable. He has a thing about not being defined by the groups he's been a part of, the schools he's attended, or the kind of people he hangs out with. That's not important to him. What he really likes is finding out stuff in life that is helpful to other people and himself, things that make life better, more enriched, more empowered - and without cheap tactics like fooling yourself into thinking life is better, or more enriched, or that one is empowered when they really aren't. He's not into that. He knows that some people put high standards on themselves and others, they hold up certain people as heroes and ideal people to be like. He doesn't like this. He thinks that everyone has stuff going on inside them, and that paying attention to how things are right now for each individual is what's important. Maybe he's wrong, but talking about all this in his biographical information sure makes him feel good. Also doubtful. He wonders if talking this way, when you the reader probably expected a long-winded list of past events, is off-putting to you. But, in the end, he has decided to just stick with what he likes, and that means sticking with exactly what he wrote. With that, he bids you farewell and hopes you enjoy this site. Thank you!

Inner Conflicts: A Potential Cause of Depression

How Solving Inner Conflicts can Bring us out of Depression

How Solving Inner Conflicts can Bring us out of a Depressed State

Disclaimer: The model in this article attempts to describe how depression, as well as other conditions such as recklessness, shame, upset, and a lack of fulfillment may emerge. However, I just want to add a disclaimer that I don’t know if this model is 100% correct. It’s just a theory. Sufficient evidence might disprove parts or all of it, just as any theory or way of viewing reality can later be disproved. Continue reading

Beauty in the Emptiness

Even when nothing else is there, you are there.

Even when nothing else is there, you are there.

In today’s culture, it’s very easy to find things to be entertained by. And I’m not saying anything’s wrong with that! The experiences created through our senses can be pleasant, nice, or even beautiful. Watching a sunset, talking with a friend, listening to our favorite pieces of music, eating our favorite foods.

But what if we could have none of that? What if it all suddenly vanished or was torn away, and we were left alone, with nothing, nobody, nor a way of experiencing those things? Continue reading

The Importance of Making Mistakes

Made a mistake, but it's ok

The ability to freely make mistakes, messes, or accidents without being punished for them can be a beautiful thing.

No, this isn’t going to be a post about how to turn mistakes into success, or how mistakes are really just a precursor to success. This isn’t about learning from mistakes, and it’s not about how mistakes aren’t really as bad as you think they might be. This is about the gift of giving yourself the freedom to make outrageous mistakes and accept yourself anyway. Continue reading

How Finding What You Love can Overcome Fear

Have you ever thought about facing a fear of yours, but then never did?

Risks are easier to accept when we love what we're striving for.

Risks are easier to accept when we love what we’re striving for.

What stopped you? Were you OK with the fact that you didn’t face it?

Partly due to the glorification of courage and heroism in today’s culture, not facing our fears can cause us to feel guilty, or at the very least uncomfortable about our decisions. And yet, do you think that your decisions to avoid potential dangers really are that bad?

I mean, there’s a whole lot of good that can come from listening to your fear! You won’t perform dangerous stunts, you’ll be more cautious, and in most cases, you’ll increase your chances for survival. Continue reading

How to be an Honorable Person

You have honor in you, but often its voice is drowned out by desire's intensity.

You have honor in you, but often its voice is drowned out by desire’s intensity.

Now first, let me just say to everyone reading this article:

You already are.

You already are an honorable person! Or, rather, you have an honorable side TO you. Continue reading

Why it’s Hard to feel Happy

A lot depends on our perspective.

Allow me, if you will, to get straight to the point.

As I see it now, how you see the world depends on your perspective. Each perspective has a kind of energy to it – it could be happy, sorrowful, hyper, angry, honorable. There are many, many perspectives. We look at the world through the eyes of one or more perspectives at any given time, and they shape how we think, feel, and act.

But each perspective is limited, and only brings to it more of what it already is. Unhappy? Everything around you will probably bring you down further. Critical? Hardly anything will seem good enough. Happy? The world looks bright and cheerful. Continue reading

How to (Really) Keep Calm and Carry On

Sometimes, your stress just needs a time out. Observing your stress stops you from engaging with it and creating even more stress.

When we get severely stressed out, for all kinds of reasons, we can get into a mode where nearly everything pushes our buttons – other people, our own thoughts, what we imagine might happen, or what we think might be true. At such times, it’s like the only thing we want is to run away, escape, and lash out at anything that disturbs us. Continue reading