Letting Go and Sincere Living

Letting go is an art form. It requires releasing your attachments, and thus, what you want. You have to open yourself up, be vulnerable, patient, and quiet inside. With letting go, you can’t have what you want, but you can have much, much more.

The Toxic Nature of Wanting

When we obsess over goals and wants, we can become blind to the internal conditions we’re in and that we’re trying to avoid them. By letting go, we let in the moment and all the feelings that are a part of it.

When you want something, it isn’t present, and this identified lack becomes a focus and a driving motivation for all action to obtain said desire. Even if you are an ethical person, you still look for a way to meet all your standards for ethics while still obtaining your desire.

Yet, all the while, as you travel to your destination, there is a sense of lack, a sense of things not being right. Maybe when you hit progress goals, then you get a little boost of happiness, but it can easily subside into more dissatisfaction. You want things to be better. There’s still more lack.

So why is this toxic? Because it avoids the present. If you notice how you are in the present, you can see the manic states, the lack of peace, the impatience, the annoyance, the pride, and even the spitefulness towards perceived obstacles in your way. You become embittered and embattled, stressed and straining. You end up hanging your hopes on progress towards a non-present goal, and all this takes up your time as again and again you pursue it. You can even end up basing your worth on how close you are to a goal. This is a toxic place to live in, and no matter how much you pace yourself, at the very least, attachment to a goal leads you out of the present moment, and things are going to fall through the cracks.

Continue reading

Beauty in the Emptiness

Even when nothing else is there, you are there.

Even when nothing else is there, you are there.

In today’s culture, it’s very easy to find things to be entertained by. And I’m not saying anything’s wrong with that! The experiences created through our senses can be pleasant, nice, or even beautiful. Watching a sunset, talking with a friend, listening to our favorite pieces of music, eating our favorite foods.

But what if we could have none of that? What if it all suddenly vanished or was torn away, and we were left alone, with nothing, nobody, nor a way of experiencing those things? Continue reading

How to be an Honorable Person

You have honor in you, but often its voice is drowned out by desire's intensity.

You have honor in you, but often its voice is drowned out by desire’s intensity.

Now first, let me just say to everyone reading this article:

You already are.

You already are an honorable person! Or, rather, you have an honorable side TO you. Continue reading

The Deep Darkness of Desire

The Darkness of Desire

Like a black hole, Desire tries to consume and destroy what makes it uncomfortable, including your own willpower! Stumbled across him while doing creative visualization.

Loneliness, fear, sorrow… being doubted, questioned, mistrusted, rejected… in pain, powerless, dead inside….¬†tragedy… loss… What do you think about these feelings?

For most of us, myself included, we’d rather not feel these things. And since certain circumstances bring out these feelings in us, it’s only natural to want to change our circumstances so that we have to feel these things as little as possible.

Yet when we’re not willing to feel certain things, we ignore ourselves during our times of greatest need. Our desire to not feel something doesn’t show us how, in our pursuit of something, we trample over our own spirit, the part of ourselves to whom it feels natural to feel those ways. All Desire can see is the goal.

Desire, to me, is the embodiment of ‘the ends justify the means’.

Continue reading

Calming the Desire for Immortality

The source of struggle, the part of you who fears death and desires immortality. He also looks down on those “simple people” who don’t pursue great things like him.

When you think about death, what are some of the thoughts that come up? This can be for yourself or others. Perhaps one of the thoughts in there goes something like this: “It isn’t fair, it’s not fair that I should die, that anything should end. I’ll find a way to avoid that kind of finality…”

The force inside you that those thoughts come from responds to death and loss with the desire to become immortal. It wants to become “somebody”, to make its mark on history, or to simply live on through the memories of others. I can come up with all sorts of ways to do this, too. For instance, say you have a hobby you like, such as Badminton. Maybe this part of you thinks about training to be an Olympic level Badminton player, and to win fame and fortune through that. THEN it will be remembered, THEN it will have surpassed death.

Continue reading

Desperation for Certainty

There is a power inside of you that wants to achieve ultimate certainty about everything, in such a way that it will get angry at any evidence that might run counter to its predictions and expectations. This is why if something you thought would take a short time actually takes a long time, you get angry. Watch out though, this force inside you doesn’t really care if the info is false or not – he wants knowledge purely for the feeling of power that it gives. Make sure you question yourself or it might rampage into your actions, causing you to do harmful things to yourself and others, proudly.

And if you get scared at this prospect, don’t worry. Your desperation is not bigger than your capacity to handle the truth and adjust your actions accordingly.

Quick Exercise: Relief from Uncertainty

I decided to add this to help anyone struggling with uncertainty right in this moment. Hopefully this will resolve the panic that can often come at times like this.

  1. Take out a piece of paper or open a document. Write at the top “Things I’m uncertain of”
  2. Write a list of all the things you’re uncertain of, until you feel they’re all out.
  3. Look over your list and recognize that many, if not all, of these you might not be able to be certain of until they happen. Also notice that if you were certain about these things, it might bring a lot of relief. A sense of direction. This puts you in a pretty bad situation, huh.
  4. Now, for each item in the list, write what you would do¬†if the worst case scenario happened. Try to put yourself in the situation and really imagine it. Don’t worry, it hasn’t happened yet, you’re just imagining it. You’re preparing for the worst.
  5. Keep adding things to either list until you feel a sense of stability again. If you’re still having trouble, ask yourself WHY, and write down the answer. Keep asking yourself “why?” until you feel that stability, and the desperation relaxes.

Further Reading

Mark Ivar Myhre has a great e-book and set of meditations called “How to Reduce Fear, Escape Anxiety, and End Panic” – if you’re having trouble with any of these, check it out.

Related Articles

The Utility and Fun of Not Knowing
Overcome Fear of Repeating your Mistakes
Find your Curiosity and Move Past Failure
My Interview with Worry
Fear List
Becoming at Peace with Your Own Path

If you want a general method for relief during times of intensity, check out the Expressive way to relieve it