Random thought: At any time all our hopes and carefully laid out plans for the future could come crashing down, and our refusal to accept that reality does not need to be foisted on others, because in times of trial, people NEED acceptance, rather than the temptation to ignore, escape, or refuse the reality around and within them.

What I mean is, when someone is going through something tough, if they have trouble accepting things, saying, “I can’t believe this happened…”, then rather than just agreeing with them it’s important to emphasize, when they’re ready, with kindness, that they will need to accept it in order to move forward. If they can’t, it’s important to ask why. Maybe they have a need that’s not being met anymore, and you can work with them at that point to help them meet that need in new ways, as life changes.

Just remember to be patient. Give people the time to let their fear of the new situation calm down. And most of all, make sure they know it’s ok to be afraid, it’s ok to feel lost. This is a sensitive time, and if they run away from their feelings, things will only get worse. With a space to heal and feel the feelings, the ones that are hard to take, they’ll get better.

And as with anything for others, you can give yourself this space to heal too.